I want to be a Proverb's 31 woman

So I am going through this "phase" (that I go through very often here lately). Since we built our house last year I have felt like my "nest" is complete, therefore I feel the need to fill my nest with babies (haha).

But since then I have never felt like "OK this is it". I just have this instinct to continually prepare myself for all the things to come as being a mother. Is this weird or what?

When I say prepare I mean indulging in books about Godly mothers and their children (which I find ALOT of here in blogland =) ) and I love reading about all the things that come along with pregnancy as well.

I absolutely LOVE reading about mother's that have absolutely ZERO time for themselves because all they have time for is cleaning up after a toddler that has flung spaghetti from one end of the kitchen to the other. Mother's that wake up in the middle of the night even though they're so exhausted they can't think to put one foot in front of the other just to look at the sweet face that has taken up every second of their life, the face that they wouldn't give up for anything on the face of the earth.

 I love anticipating that time in my life and looking forward to my turn to have that kind of love for someone.

But with all the excitement and "good feelings" that come along with the anticipation, there is also fear.

Fear that I could mess up somehow, fail miserably at being everything my child needs me to be. Fear that I won't be good at being the wife my husband needs me to be and a good mother at the same time.

That's when (I've recently learned) I will just have to give those fears to God. With Him I will be everything I need to be for my babies and my wonderful husband. My biggest prayer in life right now is that I can become more like the Proverb's 31 woman. My favorite part in that chapter is:

²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity;
   she can laugh at the days to come.
²⁶ She speaks with wisdom,
   and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household
   and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed;
   her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹ “Many women do noble things,
   but you surpass them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
   but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
³¹ Honor her for all that her hands have done,
   and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

That says it all, I love the whole chapter but that section especially defines the woman that I want to be for my family. Doesn't she sound so wonderful? Just like a mother you could run to in joy or pain because you know she will be strong for you when you don't feel strong, and share your joy when you are happy? I am so thankful Jesus gave me this to live my life by and to have as a reminder of who I need to strive to be.

I know the Lord has a plan for my life, and I know it is bigger than anything I could ever imagine.